First Team Squad and team

Coaches and staff

First team manager: Ben Neave

Club accountant: James Mannell

Team physio and knee specialist: Jack Tillyer

Under 4's manager: Sam Johnson

CEO and Director of Football: Whatever the fuck this is

Goosey Konk (C): Midfielder

John Moo: Forward

Baba Choo: Forward

Felipe Carnezales: Dribbling Midfielder (lol)

Big John: BOOOOOOSH Midfielder

Carlos Sainz: Defender

Porcupine Tillyer: Defender

Hospital Neave: Defender

Poocone Mannell: Defender

Randal Sandal: Defender

Jumbo Loveridge: Goalkeeper